Goodness it’s been FOREVER, like literally over a month since we have posted. So sorry we have been MIA lately, we have just been living LIFE! Sometimes you just need to step away from social media and take a nice, long break. Honestly it’s refreshing and we are ready to face the rest of the year head on!
Anyway…..we’re back to reality and we have lots to share!
I have been watching my sweet bestie girl experience pregnancy! I can’t wait to meet sweet baby girl in December. It’s crazy to think that she in this next stage of her life, she is going to make the BEST mama and I am more than excited to become Aunt Amanda! Seriously a dream come true 🙂 I have been planning for her baby shower and lets just say its going to be EPIC!!
As I have seen my two best friends become mothers it has made my mama gene kick in something fierce. Kyle and I have been trying since January of 2016 and after a year and a half of negative pregnancy test, tears and heartbreak we have decided to receive help. It’s an experience that has humbled me to my core, I never thought that starting a family could bring so much sadness but it also has made me realize that I am not alone.
Unexplained Infertility is something that is more common than we realize but also something we don’t talk about. We don’t realize how many couples are suffering from the sadness of not being able to conceive. It brings us to our knees when people ask about what in their eyes SHOULD be a “growing family” it crumbles my world and hurts my heart, but then I remember they dont know. How could they? I have not been open with what we are going through. I haven’t told them we have been trying for 18+ months THEY DONT KNOW! It’s not necessarily their business but thats how life typically works & they are curious because they want that for us. You get married & you have babies thats how it works right? For those of you suffering I know how you feel. I have felt that heartache, I have felt that rage when people overstep, I have been to the point where I have let my anger get the best of me & I AM DONE. Kyle and I are having trouble conceiving, we are doing something about it and I have decided to be open about our trial. If only because I cant handle one more person wondering ” when are we thinking about having babies”? WE THINK ABOUT IT EVERY SECOND OF EVERYDAY! I have just decided to speak up. I have so much hope that we will get through this trial. We have been going through test after test and I see light at the end of the tunnel. I have no doubt that Kyle and I will become the parents that we feel destined to be. For some its harder than others but I want you to know that I am not giving up hope, I will fight to be a mother through whatever means I need to. It’s okay to talk about it, its also okay to cry but please do not suffer alone. We can get through this together 🙂 I have come to the realization that others have such kind and loving hearts, they want to help and they want to see you happy! It took me a little longer than I would like to admit to realize that people weren’t trying to hurt me they aren’t trying to bring up my sadness, they honestly just didn’t understand because I didn’t tell them. This may not be how you cope with your trials, but it has honestly helped me so much. So if this helps even just one person my job here is done.
All the mothers in my life are beautiful, kind, deserving, selfless and loving. They set an example of such mercy and grace. They work hard everyday to raise the type of children that will do great things in this world and its because of them that I want to become a mother as well. So to all of you THANK YOU for setting that example & for showing me that motherhood is something so special, you are truly a gift in my life. Whether they are soon to be mothers, my actually mama, or the other mothers who helped raise me they are perfect to me. and to my bestie girl I could not be more honored to celebrate your soon to be little girl, if she is anything like you she is going to be the most kind, talented and loving soul. It’s because of the love and support I receive from these people in my life that I am able to get up every morning, to never stop fighting and to work towards becoming a mother myself.