Our Infertility Journey PART 1



Hey y’all!

We got our maternity photos back from the talented Amy & Jordan Demos! I will be posting more on Part 2 but had to share a few of my favs with y’all! We took a trip out to Arizona and had the opportunity to shoot with Amy & Jordan, it was a dream come true and I could not love these photos more! They truly captured the joy & love we have for this sweet boy so effortlessly! Make sure to check out their blog post of us HERE! THANK YOU A&J WE LOVE YOU!!!

This Dress is from Sew Trendy Accessories. It was perfect for our maternity shoot and flattered the bump so well 🙂 I am wearing the Audrey dress in Blue rain and have linked it HERE!  I scored y’all a 15% off discount use code PEARLSANDPINKPEONIES at checkout!

So this post has been a longggg time in the making……

I haven’t talked much about our trial with infertility but today is all about being open, vulnerable, and answering the questions that need to be answered! It’s so hard to go out of your comfort zone and share something so close to the heart, but I think being open to sharing is what can really help anyone else out there who is struggling!

Kyle and I started trying for our family back in January of 2016. A year past with no positive results and the worry started to set in. I was young, healthy & active, there really shouldn’t have been any reason we weren’t pregnant yet! I went to see my Doctor and she told me everything looked normal and to just keep trying. They also questioned my age and why I was “in a rush” to get pregnant! Enjoy your life they said, you have so much life ahead you, don’t let kids ruin that yet…..ummmm EXCUSE ME? I have always wanted to be a mother, we had been married for 3 years at this point and the timing just seemed right! Don’t ever let someone sway you from starting a family “so young” if that is the path you & your husband choose to take so be it! Anyway we decided to try not to think about it and just keep doing what we were doing, eventually we would get pregnant right? We tried for another 6 months and another unsuccessful trip to the doctor left me feeling completely defeated. I was scared and mad at my body for not being able to do what it was supposed to. One of my best friends had just gone through IVF and delivered the sweetest baby boy, she gave me the first set of advice that actually made me feel like I was going to be okay. She told me to stop worrying about what my doctor had told me in the past and to get a second opinion. She helped me get in contact with Emory Reproductive Center and I was so lucky that there had been a cancelation, I got right in to see Dr.Hipp  within two weeks ( MIRACLE #1). Kyle had to work that day so my friend came along with me for emotional support and I’m just so thankful she was there! Dr.Hipp looked over my records and said everything looked great on paper but that she would like to do some test. A young healthy 23 year old should get pregnant within the first 3 months of trying and after a year of trying without a positive result, there might be something to worry about.

The next few weeks consisted of many trips to Emory in Atlanta, lots of blood work, uncomfortable test, and the feeling that something just wasn’t right. After all was said and done, the tests were inconclusive and we were diagnosed with unexplained infertility. Dr.Hipp guided us in the direction of trying an IUI first (Intrauterine insemination). We had so much hope that an IUI would work for us, after all the test came back as normal so again there shouldn’t be any reason this wouldn’t work for us! Our first IUI was September of 2017 I still remember the first negative result. It could not have come at a mort inconvenient time, my sweet friend was getting married and we were about to leave on a cruise for her bachelorette trip. My monthly flow came right on time and I was just devastated, I had to put a smile on my face and pretend that I was okay. Thankfully I was with sweet friends for the weekend who helped me through and they didn’t even realize it. After the trip I came home and we did 2 more IUI’s in November & January with 2 more negative results. It was SO heartbreaking. I went to a pretty dark place that took me a long time to come out of. I questioned my faith, I questioned my entire life plan,I really just went into a depression that left me feeling completely alone. I didn’t understand and asked God why me so many times, I was so angry. After 3 failed IUI attempts Dr.Hipp left the decision of IVF up to us, she gave us her medical opinion which was to move forward with IVF. They only recommend trying an IUI 3 times and after that the odds go down A LOT! We prayed and prayed about what we should do and knew in our hearts it was time for the next step!

Fast forward to March of 2018.

Prepping for In Vitro comes with its own set of demands. It was an intense process with daily trips to Emory, so many and I mean SO MANY needle pokes in places I never wanted to get poked ( lets just say my bum still gets sore to this day, no joke). TMI I’m sorry but its all just part of the process! You go in daily to get your blood checked to make sure you are receiving the exact amount of medicine you need in order to produce enough eggs. Then after that process is done it’s time to take the eggs out so they can be fertilized ( its called egg retrieval) ! I had that surgery and they retrieved 18 eggs! After the fertilization they tell you how many embryos actually survive. We went from 18 eggs to 10 embryos that actually fertilized and then down to 5 healthy embryos that made it though the next few days! Next they choose the healthiest embryo to put back and freeze the rest so you don’t have to go though the entire IVF process next time you want to get pregnant. We went back in for the transfer and after that you jut wait…..for TWO WEEKS…. the longest 2 weeks of my life. Would our tiny baby survive, would we actually get to become parents? MY thoughts ran wild, Kyle and I did everything in our power to keep ourselves busy but it really was the only thing we could think about. They tell you to take it easy so we took a trip to Savannah for a little relaxation.

Fast forward to Easter morning 2018, two weeks to date from the transfer. Emory recommends that you don’t take a pregnancy test and to wait for the blood test the following day, I was convinced to wait but Kyle couldn’t take it and went out at like 3 am to get a pregnancy test for the morning. I woke up feeling so anxious but knew I just HAD to see. I tip toed out of the room and took the test but I just couldn’t look. I brought the test back in the room & woke Kyle up to read the results with me. We both saw at the same time that we were in fact PREGNANT!!! We both burst into the happiest tears we have ever cried. I took 3 more test that morning just to make sure and really just to see those two little pink lines pop up on the test. We were overjoyed and wanted to scream it from the roof tops! We told my parents that morning with a cute little easter basket surprise but had to keep our secret for a few more weeks! We went in for the blood test confirming that the pregnancy was actually real and let me tell you have I never been so happy in my entire life! We had to go back each week for an ultrasound to make sure baby was developing how it should & got to hear the heartbeat at 6 weeks! That sound was the sweetest sound we have ever heard, I remember looking over at Kyle and knowing that we had done the right thing! We were going to be parents and in that moment I have never felt so much love for two humans in my entire life. At 8 weeks Emory released us to my OBGYN for prenatal care and I sobbed. It was so bittersweet, the doctors, nurses, and staff at Emory had become my friends! I saw them more than I saw my family. They had been through the process with me, they knew how I was feeling & had taken such great care of us, I didn’t want to leave!

We did the Harmony test at week 10 to find out the gender and announced that we would be having a baby BOY to the world in June. The outpouring of love from friends, family, strangers who had been following our story was more than our hearts could take, we just felt so overwhelmed with love and kindness. It was so fun to celebrate with all of those who were routing us on, who kept us in their prayers and followed along with our journey! To you we say THANK YOU!  Thank you for helping us though this process, for cheering us on and for loving us through our missteps & mistakes. It was a bumpy ride but one that I wouldn’t change for the world. I learned so much and gained a testimony of Christ that can never be shaken. He never leaves us, He never gives up on us even when we have given up on Him. He guides & directs our lives with trials that help us gain perspective and strength to help others and grow ourselves. His grace and mercy are endless and what joy I feel to know that He is always with me! For those of you struggling with this trial or any hardship at all, don’t give up, don’t loose hope, keep the faith and know that you will be OKAY!

xoxo

Amanda